I wish
by Raigon
Summary: It has been four days since everyone's wish came true. It has been four days, since everything fell apart. Their brother is gone, and there is nothing more that they can do. Except simply let him go. (Wish upon a star trilogy#2)
1. Chapter 1

**I wish he was a better brother.**

No one anticipated things to fall apart so quickly. One moment, they was a family, and the next, ...they were in shambles. It had all happen so fast that he couldn't do anything at all to stop it. He couldn't make the blow less painful nor did anyone have time to shelter him from the worst of it.

They had lost a brother.

They had always thought he would fall in battle.

Such a prediction was preventable.

Train harder.

Watch him closer.

Work together better.

No one anticipated he would simply slip peacefully away in his sleep. That it would be Donnie that was a guilty mess, while Leo was the inconsolable one. That it would be Master Splinter that broke. That …that he should be left with one path to follow. Mikey had to be the family's rock. The steady one, and for once, he got the idea of what his brothers had been going through with him. What a position he had put Raph in, but he will make it up to him ..to them.

He shall become their protector …like Raphael had been.

I wish he was a better brother.

What a foolish wish.

Mikey took a deep breath as he looks down at his fallen brother.

"I won't let them fall apart, Raphie. I promise."

(Chapter 1 finished)


	2. Chapter 2

**"I wish my brother was more considered of other's feelings."**

His eyes would immediately fall upon his brother.

He lay so still on the bed, with the cover drawn up to his neck as though he was sleeping. Yet, there was no mistaking the truth of his situation.

It was striking… the contrast between life and death.

Donatello would cross the room and take the seat next to his bed. His hand would seek that of his sibling and feeling the coldness in his limbs almost immediately release it. They are cold blooded, so they are never warm on the best of days. Yet, this was different, and feeling that differences, he drops his face into his hands and wept.

"Raphael, I am sorry."

This was his fault.

He had played the part of their medic, he was the scientist, the genius, and yet, he had failed them so utterly. Something had been wrong with his brother, something that he should have caught.

Why didn't he check him more thoroughly?

They had all been blown off the side of a build thanks to an explosion. They had landed on the fire escape, but only Raph had been hanging over the edge of the railing. His head pointed towards the concrete that would have ended his life if he slip forward.

At the time, Donnie had thought that the worst threat.

Simply pull him back to the side of the living, and everything would be alright. He hadn't been alarmed, he had remained unconscious all the way home; their eldest brother had been the same. So, there was no fear there, but if he knew what he did now. He would have checked his brother from head to tail.

Leo had woken up.

Raph had woken up.

Everything should have been okay.

And it had been, they had watched a movie together.

They had eaten together.

Then everyone when to sleep.

Everyone should have woken up, just like normal, but Raph.

He must have missed the injury.

It had to be something internal.

It was his fault.

Donnie's eyes went to the silent figure. His heart quivering at the sight, as more tears ran down his face. Logic no longer had a home, rationale was forgotten in the wake of everything that had happened. His eyes were big and puffy.

His brother was being inconsiderate of other's feelings again.

Donnie left the room to his eldest brother.

**"I wish he would just follow my commands for once"**

He was rude, loud, and disrespectful. He never followed my orders, and he did everything I didn't want him to do. And, I wouldn't change a thing, if I could do it over again.

Leonardo sat with his brother.

Acceptance has finally filtered through.

Before, he had spent the last twenty minutes raving at his brother …commanding him to get up. Trying to order him to open his eyes, to simply squeeze his hand. Though he knew, Raph almost never did what he was told. Just once in his life, he had begged …just once.

Now, now …time was running out.

There was nothing more he could do.

No more commands he could issue, nothing more he could threaten or bargain with. No, there has been just cold acceptance.

His brothers ….once he had three …now it would be two.

He closes his eyes, and imagine his fallen brother getting up to yell at him. His voice would scream out, and he would feel his own heart beat with a similar pose. Rage that would break his control would shine through for a moment, and he would throttle it down to keep from throttling him. Yet, somehow no matter how bad things got, no matter how much they fought, he knew. They always work best together. His longer range weapon, and Raph's short. They generally sought each other out in battle, and would work together to take down the worst enemies. IF they weren't together, they still worked together apart.

They kept the other two safe, and now …it all rest on his shoulders.

Leo pats his brother's cold shoulder.

He was sitting right there beside him, but they were never further apart.

"I found out why you disobey my orders on the mission before your last. Mikey told me, you struck first because you saw the phone in the Robofoot's hand, and we all figured you were trying to keep them from radioing them for reinforcement. It was why they were so few, they had broken apart to search for the mutagen. Then, Donnie summarized, the reason you broke formation was to keep him and that one footbot with the canister separated from everyone else. You made sure it couldn't get away, and that there was no accidents that way. It was tactically sound."

Leo's own voice started to crack at the end.

Yet, he couldn't make the words stop as the tears flowed.

"It's funny how …I never saw you that way …until you were gone."

The thought ran through his head …of recklessness that if he looked at it differently wasn't reckless at all; of moments of hotheadedness that had level headed results. All the times they fought, because he couldn't look back and see what was so obvious to the others. Now …Now…he was only one side of a broken coin. They were yin and yang. Fire and Water. One mind, one body. Brothers forever.

"Why can't you just follow this one command, Raph? Wake up …don't be dead."

"Please."

(chapter 2 finished)

(I will apologize ahead of time for combining these two, but I didn't want to spend much more time on this part of the story. I am ready to get to the important bits, but I had to go through the angst first.)


	3. Chapter 3

A knock on the door came suddenly, but not unexpectedly.

Time was up.

Everyone else had left on their own accord. Their time ran out, and they simply stumble out those doors, and they figured Leo would do no less. Leo turns his back to his fallen brother and he growls towards the door. His eyes heavy with tears, and though his vision blurred, he knew in what direction the enemy would come.

He would not turn away, not this time.

He couldn't.

"I am not leaving and …I won't let you do it."

"You will not kill my brother."

He roared the words.

The door didn't stand a chance against Master Splinter. The older rat had kicked the door in with a swift move that made everyone jump. His ears flattened against his head and his eyes showed nothing but sorrow. But, this needed to be done. He would take one step, and then another towards his blue mask son who had back up to the point that he was halfway on the bed. His teeth were bared, and he was growling as though he was a rabid dog.

No one had been allowed to enter this room with a weapon.

Master Splinter was suddenly glad of that.

"You are becoming hysterical."

He explained, slowly.

"I am not here to kill your brother ….he is already dead, and deserves to be put to rest. Please, Leonardo, do not make this harder that it has to be ….for me and for your brothers."

His words would draw the blue mask turtle's eyes beyond his shoulder. He would see his two other brothers staring, one with eyes heavy with tears, and the other a steely resolve in his eyes. Mikey would nods his head in affirmation. A affirmative to what? Maybe, the confusion in Leo's eyes was clear because Mikey would start to motion for him to come to him; to leave Master Splinter to his final words and his final task. The blue mask turtle didn't think he could cry any harder.

He was wrong as he dissolved right there and then into a weeping mess.

His body slumps forwards as he felt his father hug him tightly. His tears would wet the top of his robe as he bury his face in it. The occasional word would bubble past his lips. "Please …don't. My half. Please." It sounded like nonsense. So, when Mikey came and retrieve Leo from his father's hold; no one truly understood what the blue mask turtle had been saying. But, there was ideas, strange and some that probably borderline on truth, and all irrelevant.

The door would be shut behind them as Master Splinter was finally left alone with his son.

Left alone to do the unthinkable; he looks down at his son's still form. His chest rising up and down, despite the fact that no one was home.

Dead, but still alive.

It was a joke.

Tears came then as he presses his furry head against the neck of his son. He grabbed his son's hand, and squeezed it tightly as the world around him shattered. This wasn't fair. What was being asked of him was too much. What had he done to deserve this? Haven't the universe taken enough from him, his wife and first child, and now ….now he would put an end to his own son. Was he such a monster to deserve this?

He had to shake that thought quickly.

What he wanted never mattered. What he wishes …never happen. He wanted his son to wake up, but he would never open his eyes again. He wanted his son back, but there was no back for him. No, he would simply put an end this horrible nightmare, and then spend he rest of his life going through hell.

Though for now, …for now …he would step away from that reality.

This is his last chance to talk to his son, so, he turned his words into happy ones. He talked of things that happen in his past. He talked about things that made Raphael special, that made him love him so. He told him how proud he was of him, and he told him he knew what had truly happened. That he had stopped the monster that had done it. He asks him if he should tell the others.

No answer.

Thus, he was left with only one thing left to say.

"I love you."

He said it over and over.

The older master said the words until…he found himself lost in it. When he looked at the still form of his son, he no longer saw the older turtle, but the tot. His child, he had to end the life of his child. It didn't matter if his soul wasn't there. It didn't matter that he knew he would never wake…the thought that he would have to do it. It shatters him …heart and soul.

**I wish you would wake up. **

(Chapter 3 …finished)


	4. Chapter 4

(This is the first chapter …that wasn't prewritten, so wish me luck, because, this is the first time I don't know at least two chapters in advance where this is going. Kanon I made it long. I hope you like it.)

Three hits.

Time was up.

One over the heart

His pulse was weakening.

One to the base of his neck.

He is gasping for air.

One to the center of his head.

It numbs the pain.

Tears …how many more tears would fall.

His Master, his sensei, his father …was the one to end his life. His hands would jab each place with a punishing pressure that would make it impossible for him to miss even with the hard plastron in the way of the first strike. It was over…his body would seem to suddenly struggle to breathe as his heart beat grew fainter. It was over …as the ancient rat grabbed the body and held it close. His father's face was buried in his shoulder as one hand held him close, and the other press his head against his father's shoulder.

It was a hug …an embrace, but he would feel nothing of it.

His father was holding him close as he was passing away, but, there was nothing that Raphael could do about it. No comfort he could give, no assurance that he didn't blame him at all; hell, he couldn't make him aware that he wasn't in any kind of pain. No, all he could do was watch, and suddenly, the turtle wonder whether he was truly in hell. For what could be a worse punishment, to watch the ones you love fall apart and not be able to help them?

None of them.

He had seen Leo's mental breakdown.

The darkness of Donnie's all consuming guilt.

The last light of Mikey turn to steel.

And, he was helpless to do anything …he was helpless to help any of them.

He would have hit his fist against the wall …if he didn't know it would only go through it. How often had he tried to reach out to them during these last few days? How many times had he hope they could do the impossible, and bring him back again if only for a moment, so he could ease their suffering.

Tears, so many tears.

His own would fall, but they seem to disappear before the droplets would hit the floor. "

I'm sorry."

He mirrored his father's words.

Their voices blurring together as they chanted those words together.

One holding and rocking his dying son. The other is simply watching his grieving father.

**"I just want …..I wish I could be there for them."**

The sudden screeching of an alarm would ruin the moment. Would snap his father's tear stain face away as everyone outside of the room would jump. Heavy with grief, Leo's commands would come late. Bog down with guilt, Donnie wouldn't even move as the door to the lair was blasted open, and only the steely determination of Mikey kept this from turning into a one sided massacre as he rushes to meet the enemy.

How? Why?

Those were the questions asked, questions never answered as his father place his body down slowly and gently. His face was wet with tears and his back bent with grief, but that didn't stop the fires that lit his eyes from shining. The aura of rage that coated his form was so thick and red that anyone would tremble at the mere sight of the rat master.

"How dare they?"

The words were said as a hiss. But almost as if that was the extent of his rage, it blew away as he looks down as his son …his dying son.

"I am sorry, my lil' Senshi. Do not wait for me."

"Hai, father."

He never heard my words as he went to battle.

The void of eternity finally opens to me …as my chest stop rising.

My final breathes happen alone.

I can't say I was happy about it, but I understood. It was better this way, and since I could never go back …at least now …I could go forward.

Another heavy explosion, the hard thud of a body against the side of the wall. The door would explode behind me as whoever it seemed determined to bring the entire lair down on our heads. I should have just reached out, I should have just passed on, but I hesitated. I waited when I heard the silences, when the smoke billow in, and it wasn't the silhouette of one of my brothers nor my sensei in the entry way.

Fear wars with common sense.

I fled the room as they took my body ….as they took the gate to eternity with them.

I never saw the smoke clear to reveal the figure of our attacker; my eyes instead fell upon my brothers and father. I should have just passed on.

But, I chose my family.

Despite the fact, that I could no longer aid them.

Foolish.

Donnie lay half in and half out of the Dojo.

His was bleeding heavily. His was breathing, but it was a painful wheeze.

Leo was slumped against the wall ….blood was dribbling out the corner of his mouth. His ear slits were releasing the same substances. Possibly internal injuries.

Damn.

Mikey ….Mikey was roaring like a mad beast.

He wasn't out, but he was badly outnumbered. The enemy was pressing all around him, holding him down, beating him. They were stopping him from moving …stopping him from escaping and as for their sensei.

It was his body that had hit the far wall after the explosion.

His chest was torn and bleeding, and his head lay limply to the side. He was lying against the ground as blood pool around him.

Father. It was bad. He had to survive this.

He couldn't join him.

Raph looked around the room.

Mikey was silent now, but they didn't stop beating him.

They were all going to die, and there was nothing that Raphael could do but watch.

His brothers. No, they couldn't join him.

He couldn't bare to watch this.

Why hadn't he just pass on?

Tears fill his eyes as he prayed.

Please, I would give anything …..anything. Just, let me help them.

Please?

**I wish….I wish I could be there for them, this one last time.**

(Chapter 4 …finished)


	5. Chapter 5

Blood splattered the walls, and they laughed.

His brother screamed in pain, they thought he was too silent, so they woke him up by breaking one leg.

His screams were too loud, so they put him back to sleep again, by breaking the other.

Mikey blacked out.

Raph blacked out.

One drop into unconsciousness and the other was lost to rage.

When Raphael came back to himself, he realized what he had done. What should have been impossible for him to do …as the enemy lay around him unconscious, and one, a Tonfa user was in his grasp. One hand clutch around his throat as Raph used the wall to lean his back upon as he lifts him off the ground. He was touching him, he had been able to put a stop to their torturing of his brother.

How?

He didn't care.

"Why?"

Those words he echoed as he growls into the face of the enemy.

A enemy that he only now realizes doesn't have a face. NO mouth, no nose, no eyes, and no ears …this creature was the same as the ones that stole his life away. These were the creatures that caused all of his pain, but he had thought there was only the ones that were inside of him. He had thought that Master Splinter had killed them all. Yet, his family had been attacked by them. A whole clan of them.

"Ha…Ha…" The voice was disembodied. "We are only fulfilling our agreement. We exist for no other purpose."

Those were it's final words as a hissing sound came from underneath Raph's hand. A dark black smoke was escaping the creature's body as if it was a balloon deflating, and the one in his grasp wasn't the only one. Those on the floor would release that same hissing noise as the creature in his hand disappeared into the air along with his comrades. They left him alone.

Alone with the hurt and the pain.

Raph turn to his little brother first. He was closest, and his injuries were more ghastly. Two broken legs, the bones sticking out for the world to see. Bruises everywhere, one side of his entire face was a purplish blotch, and he had no doubt that with all that blunt force trauma that he was only scratching the surface. He needed to rouse him, because, Raph wasn't sure how long he would be able to touch things. How long he would remain a part of the living world. They needed someone to heal them before it was too late.

They needed help.

It was then that it snaps into place. The same reasoning and battle sense that had served him while alive would chime at him even in death. Frantic panic gave way to logic the longer he assess his brother's mangle legs and the spreading pool of blood that came from him. Mikey was just as bad as the rest of them. He wouldn't last long, and was completely helpless. Waking him up to those wounds, to that pain, would be nothing but cruel. There was nothing he could do. Yet he couldn't make himself turn away from his broken limbs.

Mikey.

The words a whisper on the wind as he drops down beside him. His hands would move to try and right the wrong, there was nothing else he could do, his brothers were dying …his master was fading, and he could do nothing more than be here for their end. Like they had been there for him, the pain, the sorrow tightens his chest and his hands felt hot as he moved the bone back into place. He pushes it all back inside of his skin and guided it so the broken ends would line back up together. He would use his own mask and the discarded Tonfa to act as a brace as he bound them up.

He was their brother …no matter how bad or good.

He would get up slowly once he finished. He would tend to his next brother.

Donnie.

The slash that cuts across his plastron would have cut an ordinary human in two. A turtle's natural protection spares him an instant death, but the wound was deep. He had no question that the wheezing was probably blood getting into his lungs, but there was nothing he could do. Raph hadn't learned the finer point of surgery. Looking at the wound, he wasn't sure what would kill him first; the blood loss or the blood seeping into his lungs. Either way, his brother would never wake. Yet, the wound on his brother's chest wouldn't let him turn away.

Raph would walk to his own room and come back out again. In his hand was a needle and thread. He had stitched up his own punching bag before, and he dealt with his own wounds plenty of times. This would be no different, he told himself. Yet, as the needle when through skin, as he looks down at his brother he couldn't help the tears that form in his eyes as his hands work. The familiar heat surge through his limbs, but he ignored it. He wasn't as good as Donnie, but he was better at this than any of his other brothers. He practiced. He often dealt with his wounds alone, so the medic in the group wouldn't worry.

He tried to be considerate sometimes.

He finished stitching his brother back together, and then rose slowly.

Leo.

He could see the burnt marks this time on his chest, and the way his skin was blackened on his arms, legs, and neck. The blood that dribble out the corner of his mouth had gotten his attention first, but now, now he could see all the wounds. There wasn't anything he could do as he touches his brother lightly and pulls his wrist band free of his arm. He would wipe the blood from his face gently, before doing the same to the stream that came from his ears. Leo must have gotten caught up in one of the explosions. The red mask turtle would press his head against his brother's shoulders as his hands wrap around his shell, the heat in both hands was uncomfortable now. But, Raph could deal with uncomfortable, he had in the past and he would now.

"I'm sorry, please, Forgive me."

He blubbers.

"I wanted to follow your command this time. I just didn't know how? I tried, so hard, Leo….I tried."

He got no response. He wasn't expecting one as he moved his brother to a laying down position. He would put his brother's hands over his stomach so he looked like he was just resting instead of on death's door. His heart was heavy as he went to the final member of his family.

While Leo's injuries were beyond his ability to help.

Master Splinter's wounds were beyond anyone's to fix.

His chest was a gaping hole of burnt flesh and a raw angry wound. Raph swore he could see the ancient rat's heart pounding inside of his chest, and the fact that he had survived this long with such grave wounds made him smile at his master. He was always a tough rat.

Tears stream down his face as he touches his father's face gently; stoking the fur of his cheek.

He felt so useless.

He couldn't even correct the awkward position his master lay in. His neck had to be broken with the angle his head was turned, but if he wanted him to stay breathing, he dare not move him. Instead he could do nothing more but stroke his face to try and comfort him. The discomfort in Raph's hands had turned to pain, but, he could only think about his father.

If he could do nothing more.

If this was all he could do.

Then he would do it.

But, oh, how he wished he would wake up.

That he could talk to his father one last time. Even if it meant he died in pain, he didn't want his father's final thoughts to be that he might hate him for what he did. That he might fault him for ending his body. Dying with those thoughts, he knew …would be a worse hell then anything Master Splinter might experience in the little time he had left. Raph wanted him to know he still loved him.

"My lil' senshi."

Raph closed his eyes as the words flowed over him. His father's words.

"I know, do not fret."

The green eyes turtle would open them then to see his father's were open. A smile on his master's face, and his body had turned so that his head was no longer at an awkward angle. If fact, as Raph took a good look at him, he seemed as good as new. The turtle's eyes went to the brown fur of his chest, the tatter edges of his robe showed where the wound once was, but now… there was no hole there.

Raph smiled then, despite the tears.

Everything was going to be alright. He knew it as his father reached out to grab him.

The old rat's embrace would closed on thin air.

Raph was gone.

Groans and moans would fill the silences that follow afterwards as each of the three brothers rose. Their fatal wounds gone, but their bruises and lighter injuries remain.

**I wish I could be there for them, this one last time.**

(Chapter 5 …finished)


	6. Chapter 6

(Well, the second part is done and I want to thank everyone who read, reviewed, favorite, and followed especially, Kanon58, evi Black'mor, Hikari, and TJHECTOR.)

When Raph has disappeared this time…it wasn't merely from his father's sight. No, he faded back into the darkness he had originally been pulled inside of. A darkness so deep that it swallow up everything, including his own sounds, sight, and the feeling of his own limbs. Everything was swallowed whole, and Raph was left with nothing …nothing but his fears and the anguish of being trapped here again.

_Was this what happen if one turns away from eternity? _

_Would he be stuck here forever? _

_Surely, he wasn't expected to leave his family in such a state? _

_If so, then whoever was in charge of this is a bitch. _

_This punishment wasn't shit, if it meant he could help them. _

_Not even if he had to suffer it for forever. _

The darkness was suddenly parted with sound.

A strong voice roared.

**"So, you have failed?" **

A voice that trembles slightly responses back.

"No, sir, no …this isn't over yet. I have my last trump card in play."

**"Trump card? You mean the corpse? From what you tell me, you had them …completely at your mercy, but you left them alive …to bring this back instead. So, explain to me again, the genius of your plan?" **

The stern voice taunted, and the trembling voice grew more fierce at those words.

"Don't patronize me! You don't understanding anything …not what I have done, nor what is going on. It's your fault things turn out this way. Your information was faulty … he wasn't the weakest link you said, in fact, it was the opposite. You sent me chasing after a kitten that was in fact a tiger, so I don't want you to say a word about my ..urk…"

The trembling voice disappeared as the stern voices continued for him.

**"You forget your place …and you forget who I am. I suggest you quickly remember it, otherwise, I might forget that I still have a use for you." **

The voices disappeared as the darkness swallowed the sounds, and Raph felt as though he was being pushed deeper into the darkness. Yet, the fear was gone, the anguish resolved as the echo of a single wish followed him.

**I wish you would wake up. **

(Chapter 6 …finished …the end)


End file.
